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Getting ready for t day! [Sunday: November 21st, 2010 @ 2:50pm]
So, this year I am hosting Thanksgiving. It will be me, my husband, and my parents.

I am making a lot of food, and it's totally unhealthy. (Of course, I will be eating TONS of veggies to make up for it.)

So, I am 243 lbs as of 5 minutes ago. I am going to make some healthy habits so that on Friday morning I will not weigh more than 243. (Meaning, I'm going to try and lose about 2 lbs before Tday so I can gain it back. Haha. )

Here are my changes:
1. Workout 10-15 minutes in the morning before going to work. (It's been a good month since I've worked out.)
2. Drink 20 oz of water at work. (Or before 3pm on days I don't work.)  (I haven't drank a glass of water in weeks.)
3. One cup of coffee in the morning. No frozen blended stuff.
4. No more Mcdonalds in the morning EXCEPT for Thanksgiving morning. (I'll be up at the crack of dawn, and I don't want more cooking to be done. Besides, my fat ass had been getting mcdonalds for bfast every other morning. Sausage mcmuffin. How I love and loathe you.)
5. Grilled Chicken!
6. One small bottle of coke a day.

So, I have already drank one glass of water today, worked out for 15 minutes, and I have grilled chicken defrosting for dinner, with a side of corn and peas.

Hopefully with these changes, I can afford to pig out on thanksgiving without having a MAJOR meltdown after.
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Go go gadget *Again [Monday: September 13th, 2010 @ 10:24am]
So, I always get my mind into thinking I'm trying to be healthy.
But, I know I'm not. I cut back on pop- but I started to make up for it in Coffee.
Either home-made cold coffee (French vanillia, with 2 packets sweet and low, and some creamer.)
BLAH. I was doing good water-wise for like, 2 days.

I just drank my first 8oz two minutes ago in like... a week.

I say I'm going to work out, but I haven't. I go 'swimming' with my husband, but I float more than I swim. (Though, I'm still 5 years old, I have to do back handsprings in the shallow end. ;) )

I try to buy healthy. Cottage cheese, fruits, frozen veggies. But, when I cook, it's usually a pasta. Last night for dinner I had lemon and herb marinated tenderloin, and a mix of corn and peas.

This morning I had eggs with cheese, a plain english muffin, and two sausage patties. Gah!

Why am I telling you all this? To finally hold myself accountable. I can no longer lie to myself. I needed to decide if I really was going to lose this weight. Am I going to be healthy? Yes. I am changing my lifestyle. I am going to go to the gym at my apartment, and run on the eliptical for 15 minutes. I can't do much, but I AM going to be under 210lbs by Christmas.

If you want to watch my journey, and give me some support, and read my ever changing blog- you can do so at
However, it is a lot more darker and depressing. If you're looking for happy, encouraging weight-loss blogs, this wouldn't be one. At least not now anyways. This deals with my raw emotions on being fat.

I would love to know I'm not the only one.
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[Tuesday: July 27th, 2010 @ 9:50am]
Well, a little late, but I finally started working out yesterday, and when I finish this post, I will again. I am doing the 30 day ea active challenge. I really want to lose about 10 lbs when I'm done. I know it's not at the healthy rate, but I'm also cutting back in my calories, and incorporating more water instead of calorie-infused drinks.

I'm also making it a goal to do this 30 challenge, and then do it again at a harder intensity. That would be 3 months of ever-increasing workouts. By the end of that, I hope to be a pant size smaller. (OR 2.... :) )

Hubby has his 3d tv coming today, so I better get going so I have time to workout and clean.

How is everyone else's workouts going"?
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[Wednesday: July 21st, 2010 @ 10:35am]
So, I still have not started my workouts, but I plan on doing it today. I need to get back into it.

My weight has dropped a little bit, which means my bloating/pms issues are finally over. Thank god. Ugh. Anywho, I wanted to share a few simple recipes I came across and LOVE. I have one healthy dinner, one semi-healthy side, and a not very healthy desert. However, I'm not going to post the desert unless someone actually requests it. I don't want to hinder anyone's summer weight loss.

I made these a few days ago, and I love them, and I've actually been eating small slices of the Peanut Butter Cup/Chocolate cheesecake. Day 3, and between two people we still have about 2/3rds of the pie left. :)

Easy Parmesan-Garlic Chicken: Takes bout 30 min, makes 6 servings

1/2 cup grated Parmesan Cheese
1 env. (0.7 oz) italian dressing mix
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
6 boneless chicken breast halves

Heat oven to 400 f
mix cheese, dressing mix, and garlic powder
Moisten chicken with water and coat with mix. Place in shallow baking dish
Bake 20-25 min.

NOTE: I actually used a parm. cheese substitute. It turned out well!

5-minute cheesy broccoli toss

4 cups broccoli florets
1/2 tsp. dry mustard
1/4 lb Velveeta cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1 Tbsp. grated parm. cheese

Combine broccoli, mustard and Velveeta in a large skillet
cook 5 min or until cheese is melted, stirring occasionally
sprinkle with Parmesan.

If you try any of these, let me know. :)

I still need to post my first before' picture here sometime soon. I hope you enjoyed my wedding picture post at least! 
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Wedding [Monday: July 19th, 2010 @ 9:22pm]
Sorry to spam your f-list but here are pictures from my gorgeous wedding!
It was nostalgia says in my hometown, so Bobby and I took pictures there first. (Boy, we don't look like we have our Bach. and PhD's.... haha)

(My MOH is the best. She went to say 'For those of you who don't know me, I'm Morgan. Jenni's roomate.' Instead she said 'For those of you who dont know me, I'm Jenni. Oh, wait!'  It was hilarious. I love her! (We were roomies for 3 years, and sorority sisters.)

This is all of my Sorority Sisters, and his fraternity brothers. Boy, we're reaaaalllly drunk. haha. :)  

Hope you enjoyed these quick snapshots at my wedding. I have 86897 more, but I didn't want to spam TOO much. :)
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Wagon? [Sunday: July 18th, 2010 @ 7:13pm]
Wagon? What Wagon? Can I fall off a wagon, if I hadn't gotten on completely?

Rob had his first Pharmacy liscence test this week so we ate at Texas Ro-Ho, and at Chipotle. Yes, I vegged out, and haven't worked out.

So, tomorrow, I am starting the EA active challenge. And I will finish the 30 days. In 30 days. I am also going to drink one water a day. I feel like this is do-able. I need to do something besides my normal weekly 'diet' of soup and veggies only. Can I say I'm finally tired of soup? Tomorrow I am making tuna for lunch, on a single slice of whole wheat bread. Dinner I am making a pasta with broccolie. I think it calls for 3 cups of it. So, even though is it pasta, I can feel less guilty for it.

Today we took Colin, our 55lb black lab/cocker spaniel mix to a doggie park. We ran a bit, and climbed up and down this STEEP HUGE hill. Hopefully, even though I'm way bloated, it will kick a notch in my metabolism today. It sure reminded me of how out-of shape I am.

Speaking of which, I've mentioned it before, but I am really itching to have a baby. My Mother in Law has mentioned how much she wants grandkids, and it's not helping. She already has at least 3 grandkids, but due to family issues, my kids are the only ones she'd be able to see. And, I know that she would support us like no other. So, while Bobby and I have only been married a month, I am getting ready for it. This is why I want and need to lose weight. I want to be healthy while preggers, and I want a healthy child. Plus, I want to be active with my child, not a couch potato.

Also, we're looking into buying a house, which is crazy stressful in itself. Boy, being an adult is crazy scary.
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Update per 2 [Wednesday: July 14th, 2010 @ 7:52pm]
Well- I'm struggling with myself, but I knew it would be hard. I want to dress like gossip girl- to the 9s, heels jeans and blazers, big jewelry, ect. Not t-shirts.

As I write this, I'm wearing an Animal shirt. I did put on makeup, but the first time this week.

I have downed more water today, but I haven't eaten the best. I keep thinking about how much better I will be at a smaller size, yet I reach for cheese dip. I watch what not to wear, and finally put the cheese down because I'm jealous of how the crazy girl looks KILLER in a black dress.

I also want to have kids in the next few years. They say not to be overweight. Shouldn't THAT be the ultimate inspiration? Not the cute clothes I could buy?

Speaking of which, I'm going to hopefully try to sell some clothes on fatshionista, so it gives me more of an incentive to lose weight.

I also am going to VOW to do a 30 day workout challenge. My parents are coming up to visit in July, and I am going to a ren fair. I really want to show them I'm serious. (But again, with cheese, how can I be serious?)

Tommorrow, I will pull out an outfit I want to fit into (comfortably) by the end of July, and then a long term outfit. I will retake the picture every week.

Size 14, here I come!

Here are my stats.
CW: 238.8
HW: 246
Goal weight 1: 230
Pre-baby goal (Long term) 180
Current pant size:20/22
Dream pant-size: 14
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[Wednesday: July 14th, 2010 @ 11:29am]
  Yes, it's been forever.

I dont want to promise anything, because I never keep them.

I just got married, and am back from my honeymoon. I gained about 7lbs, but I've lost most of that already this week.

I was 238.8 this morning. I  want to be 230 by the end of the month. By Christmas, I want to be a size 14. I've decided it's going to be a lot of pain. And hardwork. But I can do it.

Has anyone seen the show Huge? I've seen 3 episodes, I think, and I don't know if I like it. However, I find the Blond girl very pretty. She reminds me of me when I was in highschool- only prettier hair and better makeup. I wish I can look as good in my clothes as she does.

My biggest issue right now, is not quite my size- it's the lumps. I want the bumps and lumps to go. I don't mind being round, if I don't have the apron-bulge.

I had a carnation breakfast drink for, you guessed it, breakfast. I've also had an apricot and now a lean cuisine boxed lunch.

I like raw veggies- but I don't like any recipies I find. I need to find healthy (or healthier) lunches. For now, lean cuisine and ramen for lunch is as healthy as I get. It's a whole hell of a lot better than fast food.

I'm not a good writer, and I know this is discombobulated, However, I do plan on writing in here more often, to keep account of my trials.

Please let me know if you plan on reading as well!

Coming later- a picture from my wedding, and a starting 'progress' picture.
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Yay! [Monday: August 10th, 2009 @ 8:19pm]
So, hello everyone!

I have now worked out twice today. :) 33 min on the eliptical, and then later this afternoon I went with my Fiance, and did about 5 min on the treadmill going back between running and walking, and I also did 2 set of 10 on lying down leg crunch thing, and two different arm weight things on the machine. (I really should learn the name of the excercises I do!)

I'm at 229 lbs. Which, is basically where I started the summer. However, I still think my inches are smaller then where I started. Not the lowest, but still smaller. Which is good. I wanted to be in a size 18 this summer, and I'm almost completely there. I still have some 20's I wear, and some 18's are still a tad tight. But hopefully, by the time band camp starts, that will be fixed. :)

I am however wearing more size 'L' than XL and I am wearing clothes I wore in highschool. So, yay for something!

Also, I have completely now changed my outlook on pop. I only drink one pop a day. When I go out and I can fill my own cup, I mix diet with regular. I still get the taste, but half the calories! Whee!

I'm just sad that tomorrow I start being a nanny again full time, and that means if I work out, it has to be after 6pm when I get off, and I'm not ever really in the mood to go workout at night. Perhaps if I maybe do one or two reps of crunches while I nanny? I don't know. I just want to kick this into gear, and I know I crave food more when I nanny. :( I WILL CONQUER THIS!
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[Friday: August 7th, 2009 @ 7:56am]
hi! Its me again. And I'm nannying at the moment. Wheee.

When I nanny I can't workout because I nanny all fricken day. But hey, chasing two kids is excercise enough as it is, right?

I'm so embarrased to fail. My parents are coming up next week and I dont want them to be like oh, we thought you were losing weight?

I WANT to be a size smaller, for the simple fact that I want a smaller pant in marching band. I want to be out of the 20's FOR GOOD. in weight, and in pants. I want so many things, and while I have been trying, maybe not` extremely hard all the time, I still don't see ANY results. and it's so frustrating.

I want to shock my system this week and finally drop a pound or two. I will be extremely happy then. And I can't measure myself, because I fail at it. haha. It's not consistantfor me.
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[Wednesday: July 29th, 2009 @ 11:54am]
I ate handfuls of chocolate covered raisens
togurt burst cheerios
salad with home italian dressing.

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[Wednesday: July 29th, 2009 @ 11:51am]
Well, I went to az for a week for TBS. Well, I didn't do well. Eating wise or excercise wise. So I get back to home, and I dont feel like cleaning or cooking, and I'm not doing well either.

I've been home since sun. And everyday besides today I have eaten out at least once. I've been drinking alot of pop. Yesterday I worked out for 20 minutes. Today, because or chores, I haven't. I've been drinking water, and I still feel like crap. I hate this. It tastes great when you eat it, but then, it makes you feel like shit later on.

I need to buy more veggies and eatm ore veggies, but that means I need money, that I don't have.
 It sucks.

I will be smaller. I will. I need to keep telling myself this. The summer is almost over, and I don't have anything to show for it. This sucks.
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[Friday: June 19th, 2009 @ 9:57am]
So, I fail. Haha. I'm on Livejournal everyday, but I never post.

I'm busy planning my wedding... which is almost ONE YEAR AWAY! I'm also getting ready to book my honeymoon. That should be fun!

Things I have done/almost
STD's are purchased. I just need to stamp and make them.
Invitation stuff is purchased, again just need to make them
Wedding dress bought!
Bridesmaids dresses STYLE picked out. Still working on the color.
Colors picked out
Location set and reserved. (My backyard! Yeah!)
We plan on having a candy buffet as the favor.

I know it seems like I don't have much done, but I'm a laid back bride, but there are things I just really don't care about. Such as the flowers. I don't really care what they look like. I think I want pink roses, while the bms have white. I don't really care about the food. It's being catered from somewhere. haha. The actual ceremony? I want to have readings and a sand unity ceremony, Cake, I have time to figure out. Haha.

I'm worried about my dress though. Its my dream dress. But, I'm in the process of losing weight. Yay!!! I want to lose 20 lbs before december, and that can drastically change how I look in the dress. Well, this dress has a lot of beading on it, and the skirt is... different that I don't know how it will work to be taken in that much if needed?

Oh well.

228.5 lbs today, 28.5 lbs to go! Wish me luck! In planning or weight loss! Haha.
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[Thursday: January 15th, 2009 @ 1:02pm]

Hello all! I know it's been awhile since I;ve posted. But I needed to gripe alittle.

For my education major, I have to keep a book file of childrens/ya books. I have to read 30 books a quarter. This quarter I have to read 10 newberrys, 5 multi-cultural, and 15 books of my choice/licensure area. (History and language arts.)

Now, I forgot we had to read 10 newberrys this quarter, as last quarter it was only 5. So now that I'm counting them up, I realize, I have alot more to read by Feb. 20th. I have at LEAST the 10 newberrys. I have maybe 10 done, which means I have 20 books a day I have to read and write about. 

On top of that, I have an 8 page paper due that day too. Gah. Sometimes, I hate being an education major. 

At least my 'finals' seem to be easy this quarter. None for my history methods and Phonics, my chem is just a lab experiment/lesson we have to present to the class, and I believe my final for my middle childhood sequence is just a compilation of my lesson plans.

Ughghghgh. With that being said, what is your favorite newberry award winner book? Or how about childrens book?



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Life [Thursday: October 30th, 2008 @ 1:47pm]
 I know I have not posted recently- but things have been so hectic.

I am taking tough classes this quarter including Fundamentals of Reading and Analysis in which I have to cpmplete 30 hours of observation, teach 3 lessons, create a unit plan, and read  30 YA novels. :( Thankfully- most of that is over.... and I have an A!

I'm also busy with sorority recruitment.... whooo. I think?

Bobby is being himself- a mean little boy. I love him... but I'm so stressed out right now that I could use some nice chill time. Not keep telling him to stop.

His mother also signed us up for a pre-marital conference for thanksgiving. Wheeee.

Here shortly, I am hoping to complile a list of all the books I've read this quarter. I have an online book forumn thing, but no one has really joined. Would any of you be interested?
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[Sunday: August 3rd, 2008 @ 8:19am]
Bobby proposed Thursday. I said yes. :)

The end.

Oh, picture of the ring will follow. It's currently getting sized.
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[Monday: July 28th, 2008 @ 6:22pm]

Today I saw something terribly sad.

I witnessed a death-to-be.

I arrived to work early, so I sat under this fake silo looking thing lighting up a cigarette. While I'm sitting there, I keep hearing this banging sound, so I peer up. I see that a cute bird is stuck inside the silo. It had been completely covered with chicken-wire, and the only opening was a small slit at the very bottom, in which the bird could not find.

She was flying everywhere, chirping loudly, and basically flying around in circles.

What made the whole thing worse, was that lying on the bottom chicken wire were at least four dead birds.

It was terrible. 

However- when I came out of work today, there was no bird going crazy. I don't know if she got out, or I just happened to miss seeing her. I will continue to believe the first.

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Grrr [Monday: June 9th, 2008 @ 5:46pm]
I need to work out.

I'm effing huge. I bought a lot of really cute clothes this summer, because I've been tired of wearing jeans and t-shirts.

Which, came in handy since I now need to dress somewhat nice from now on. :)

I start tomorrow at 1 in the morning, so I am going to do a quick workout from one of the excercise tv things. I was doing good before the boy showed up!

I need to start counting cals and taking my alli. The good thing is.... I have MAJORLY cut down on my regular pop consumption. I've been drinking a lot of juice, and diet coke. I need to drink more water. :(
Hopefully tonight before bed I'll do a couple of push-ups to tone up my arms a little. I've been looking a little weak lately, and I need my strength to hold up the books. :)
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YAY! [Wednesday: June 4th, 2008 @ 6:59pm]
I got the job at borders!

The interview was amazing. At first the one store manager was like, I couldn't find her application, it wasn't with the others, so I was going to have her fill a new one out. The other manager was like "I saw it on your desk the other day. The one that said cute personality and well dressed on the top!" So then they found it, and the other manager gave me the interview.

He also stated that they had 2 great implicants for the 1 position. He asked me one offical question, and one non-official ish. (Oh, what are they?) And then, he was like "I'm done. I don't need to hear any more. I know my decision. We will decide by friday." And then today, less than 24 hours later, I get the job!!!!!!! YAY!

And.... I get to see BOBBY tomorrow! He takes the mega bus up, then I take the train down to get him. I have to get up at like 3 in the morning! Eeek. Oh well. To see him, I'll do it anyday.
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I'm officially addicted..... [Wednesday: May 28th, 2008 @ 9:12am]
So, I am home for the summer. Yay! Well last year, my parents decided they needed to find a hobby. Since their only child was off to college out of state, they needed somewhere else to spend their money. Enter in the Potowotami casino. It's a nice place really close to where my parents live. Well, they love it there. And they noticed they also play bingo. Well, guess what? You only need to be 18 to play bingo! So when I came home last year for the summer we all went to play bingo.

It's addicting. They call the numbers so fast, and it's really complicated (the designs) but it's fun. It ain't your grandma's kind of bingo. Well, we went again this past sat. My dad told me upon entering that if he won anything he would give it to me. Well, none of us won during the first game of bingo. (Like, 18 rounds) There was another hour until the next round, so my dad went to the casino to play the slots, and won 250 bucks. :)

I was bored and decided to buy another set of bingo, on paper. (We buy the machines, because you get more cards, and it tells you/shows you what you need to win. Makes things ALOT easier) And on the 3rd to last game- I bingo'd! Because I hadn't bought the special expensive package I won 400 instead of 1199! Then, one game later, the BIG final game, I bingo'd again! For $2,000 I started jumping up and down and freaking out, but someone else bingo'd as well so we had to share the pot. I didn't care, I still won 1,000!!!! So I walked out of the casino that day with over $1,500 cash in my pocket.
This was this past sat. It is now wednesday..... And I want to go back now. :)
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